Phoebe
by bookwormbeauty
Summary: When Shay was taken away from Shane,she recieved a new kid,Phoebe ? Takes place after Episode 503. Can Shane break Phoebe's silence ? Find out.
1. Chapter 1

Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
Maybe someday you'll look up,  
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:  
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -  
You forgot me long ago.  
Am I that unimportant...?  
Am I so insignificant...?  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?

_[Chorus:_  
Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
I know what you do to yourself,  
I breathe deep and cry out,  
"Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?"

_[Chorus_

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,  
Knowing you don't care.  
And if I sleep just to dream of you  
I'll wake without you there,  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't something...

Missing by Evanesence

The Sun was shining ,like a mockery of all that had happned . It shown hard brightly,too bright on my mother's coffin. She looked like she was sleeping,her deep brown hair falling loosely around mer shoulders,her face beautiful,yet pale missing all the life she had in it.

I guess that's what death does to a people,it mocks them. Shows their true beauty only when they leave our earth. The doctors said it was an accident,took one too many pills. Yeah Right. If she was soo drugged up how come she still had enough stamina left to slit her wrists in the bath tup.

The doctor's were wrong,it wasn't an accident.My mother killed herself. They say that her way to find true happiness was to leave her earthy body.But that wasn't true either. She found true happiness by leaving me. Her little girl . I look around the cemetery as mourners pass by,shaking hands,expressing sorrow. All that bullshit. But I say nothing. I feel nothing.

When I was seven years old my mother tried to commit suicde the first time. I remember the day after got home from the hospital. I remember people staring at us ,staring at my little hand clasped around her bandaged wrists. On my eigth birthday,she was diagnosed with severe depression. She never talked about it. In fact,she just sorta stopped talking. Even when I told her I was gay,she just looked at me,brushed a piece of hair out my face and walked away.

The servie goes on,with people I barely know expressing moments about my mother and me. People occasionally throw glances at me,afraid to look to long. You see,I was the lucky one to find my mother in the bathtub,blood everywhere. Everything went blurry,I remember a long scream, my scream.

Since that day,a week ago,that was the only sound that has come out my mouth. I won't talk. I guess you could call me mute. A fifteen year old mute. I glance at my watch . I am supossed to fly in the morning to go live my mom's close friend who couldn't make it to her funeral but offered to be my guardian since my dear old daddy is lying beside her. I don't even know her. All I know is that her name is

Shane Mcutchoen and she lives in Los Angeles.


	2. Chapter 2

_I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,  
She felt it everyday.  
And I couldn't help her,  
I just watched her make the same mistakes again._

What's wrong, what's wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.  
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.  
Be strong, be strong now.  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.  
Her dreams she can't find.  
She's losing her mind.  
She's fallen behind.  
She can't find her place.  
She's losing her faith.  
She's fallen from grace.  
She's all over the place.  
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah  
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

_Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne._

Shane's POV

" What about her ?" Alice asks me.

I look at the blond to her left.

" She's cute but I thought Tina didn.t want blondes.

"She wants Bette and we all know it,Shane.But no harm in looking for her.We'r elike Tina's cupids, her little gay cupids." She says.

" So when does Phoebe's plane get in ?" Tina walks back over to us

" At four ." I answer. Poor kid. I knew her mother well.She was the only person who gave a damn about me. She was my best friend,and I wanted more. But she was straight but loved me like a sister. When I heard that she commit suicide and had left Phoebe an orphan ,I knew what I had to do. I hope this time will be better.I won't have this girl taken away from me.

" So what she like ?" Alice asks

" I don't really know. I know she's fifteen. She doesn't speak. The doctors said she was the one who found Fiona." I explain.

" Do they know when she'll ever speak again ?" Alice asks

"Anytime. It's up to her,I guess. Poor kid .Nobody as been able to get her to talk. Not even her girlfriend could get her to talk." I say

" What she's gay ? Who told you ?" Alice asks

"It was her girlfriend and her mother's doctor who called me. They asked me if I would let Phoebe come stay with me. And I said yes. Fiona helped me a lot. It's the least I can do for her daughter." I say

" Do you want us to come with you to the airport?" Tina asks

"No.I'm not so sure if her getting met by a group of people and me who she barely knows would be the best thing . But. I'll probably bring her by tonight." I say,finishing my drink.

" Shane, are you sure you can handle this .I mean Shay was only 9. I mean were's is a fully grown little person. A teenager ." Alice says

" I can handle it. I can." I say I guess reassuring myself as well as Alice and Tina. I can handle it.

I hope.

Phoebe's POV

I got off the plane not exactly knowing who to look for.My mother was never good at keeping pictures. This morning was rough. I had to left my girlfriend Amy back in Texas. I could've said so much to her: how much I loved her,how much I would miss her. But I couldn't I can't find my voice. So I just held her in my arms and she kissed my forehead.. I loved her. I was looking around till I saw a tall woman,dressed in tattered jeans a Detroit rock city t-shirt and a black blazer. A lesbian no doubt,a beautiful one. And she was holding a sign they read Phoebe Parker. This was ShaneMcCutcheon.

Shane's POV

I didn't exactly know who to look for,except for a teenage black lesibian. I'm not sure if I can spot those a mile away. I hold up a sign and nobody looks at except aa smoking hottred head. It's then I see her. A skinny girl with café au lait skin ,sea green eyes like her mothers and wavy brown hair with strands of

green running through it. She looks exactly like her mother. I brush tears away from eyes. Shw grabbed her suitcase and walks over to me when she sees the sign. This was Phoebe Parker. She walks over to me and pulls out ann id,with her picture on it.

"Phoebe? Hi,I'm Shane.Wow,you look so much like your mother." I say. Her eyes are vacant . Okay,this could be horrble. I grab her other bag.

" Come on, my truck's this way." She of course says nothing but follows me.

" I was very close to your mom. She always wanted a daughter you know. She got a beautiful one." I say,she looks at me with some sort of happiness in her eyes.

" Look,your gilrfriend told me everything about you.She really loves you.i'm sorry you had to leave her. Amy also told me about you not talking. It's okay .Nobdy can possible imagine what your going thorough . But if you ever want to talk,I hear I'm a good listener." She looks at me

" Come on,let's get you settle in." We jump out the car and she grabs her bags.

" Sorry if it's a little cramped.You just put your stuff anyhwere ." She looks at me.

" Um,the bathroom's on the right,the kitchen on the left.Are you hungry ?" I sya. She shakes her head.

" Okay well,get comfortable,You gotta be tired." I realize that I am rambling. Which never happened before. She goes into the bathroom. I hear a knock at the door

I open to find just about everyone at it.

" Is she here?" Alice chirps

" I told you we'd come by later!" I whispher.

" I know but we all just want meet her and express our deepest sorrow. And check her out." Alice mutters at the end.

Bheind her Bette,Jodi,Tina,Kit and Max come in.

" So where is she ?" Jodi signs to Bette. Bette shrughs.

" I'll go check up on her." I knock on the door and she comes out in jeans and a t-shirt.

" I'm so sorry. My friends are here and they really want to meet you. I just have to show them I haven't killed you.yet." I laugh nervously. She follows behind me.

" Guys,this is Phoebe,an old friend'sdaughter. She'll be staying with me for a while. Phoebe this is Alice Tina Jodi, Bette ,Kit and Max " I explain.

They look at her and smile.

" We are so sorry for your loss.But we are happy to meet you." Bette says stopping the silence. Angelica walks over to Phoebe,and we all hold a breath. She stops at Phoebe's feet.

" That's Angelica,our daughter." Bette says. Phoebe says nothing but kneels down and picks up Angelica who immediately gives her a big hug.Phoebe hesitates for a second but folds her arms around Angelica's back.. She then puts Angelica back down on the ground ,looks at us tears in her eyes,and runs back to her room.

" What it something I said ?" Bette looks around

" I don't know. Maybe I should go talk-

"No. Leave her be.She probably just wants to be alone. Poor girl.' Kit says

" She;s kinda hott." Alice says

" She's fifteen years old." Bette says

" So ?" Alice says

" Okay,Mary Kay Loterneau. ,,." I say.

Phoebe's POV

Shane is so nice. So are her friends. I don't know what happened. When Bett said daughter I just saw my mother in my arms,dead. .I felt hot tears in my eyes and just ran away. I shut the door and fell on my bed. Fuck mom,why did you have to leave me? Why couldn't you have stayed with me? I never told you how much I loved you,hnow much I need you.This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. Mom,mommy? Please just come back. Come back to me. I hear myself shouting in my head. I never told her what Kevin did to me. I never told her what he did to me.

Please mom,just come home. I feel myself slowly drifting to sleep.

Shane's POV

Phoebe didn't come out at all. Not even after everybody left. I knocked on her door.

" Phoebe,honey. It's Shane ,come on open up." She didn't answer. I slowly opened the door to see Phoebe curled up at the edge of the bed,sleeping.

" No,mommy come back please. I'm sorry.My fault.please just come back." She mutters in her sleep.

,she can talk . She thinks it all her fault. She shivers. I close the window and slowly peel back the covers of her bed I put my arm around her shoulder and my other under her knees and gently pick her up. She is surprisingly light. I place her under the covers and pull them around her. She almost looks peaceful. I brush the hair from her face.

Come on Phoebe, just talk to me.

**R&R Kevin is Phoebe's Stepfather .Her real father died when she was born.**


	3. Chapter 3

Three Weeks Later.

* * *

Phoebe's POV 

I woke up to have the sun blinding me,and strangely,underneath the covers.I glance at my watch,it's 9:00 in the morning.. I dreamt about my mother last night. She was in her wedding dress,her hair clean and wild,and she just kept running,running away from me and I couldn't catch up to her. I just wanted to tell her, it wasn't her fault.

It. was my fault.

I found a note taped to the fridge door. It said

" Phoebe,

Went to work. Be back around six.

Feel free to raid the kitchen.

Alice will be by to check up on you.

Don't forget, you have an appointment with ht psychologist today.

At five. Alice will take you.

Later,

Shane

I look around the room. Great,just what I needed .Another shrink to tell me about myself.

* * *

Later 

" So,Phoebe,how are you doing ?" Dr. Cullen asks. I say nothing

" That crappy huh. Why don't you tell me about day ." I say nothing.

" You know you don't have to say anything . We can go as slow as you want." I look at her.She has long blonde hair and pretty blue eyes,kinda like a hott school teacher. If I wasn't so fucked up,I would be drooling.

" Were,you close with your mother ?" She asks. I say nothing

" What about your father ?" I look away when she says this

" Not close with your dad.Okay. Was he ever mean to you ? Did he ever punish you /" I don't look at her

" Did he ever hit you when he was angry ,beat you?" Images of a belt buckle flash through my eyes. I shut them till they go away.

She comes and sits on the couch next to me.

" You can trust me,you know. It can be our little secret. I just want was best for you. And so does Shane and your girlfriend Amy.

Why don't we do this. Since you won't talk to me,how about this." She dropsa slim black notebook in my lap.

" I want you to write something for me. Anything. Or just draw for me. It's up to you. I think that's enough for today,Phoebe. Here's my cell.Feel free to call me anytime,day or night." She says. I just walk out. She calls Alice in fora minute. Most likely to talk about me.

You are probably wondering about what happned. Kevin was my stepfather. He was an asshole,rest his soul. Whenever my mother wasn't looking he would touch me or give me this smile,a smile like a viper. I remember last summer,he walked in on Amy and me making out. He sent her home. He pulled a belt out of his pocket,and closed my bedroom door awhile my mom was asleep. He made me take off my shirt,and he beat me . It hurt so much that I passed out I still have the bruises from three months ago. He quite literaly, beat me till he died. I din't tell my mother or Amy because I knew that Amy would want him dead and my mother would blame herself. I didn't want to add to her pain. It is save to say that the day he died,I felt to free. But he still comes to me.In my dreams he haunts me,beats at my soul than at my body. I'm such a debbie downer,aren't I ?

* * *

Shane's POV 

" Phoebe,I'm home." I close the door to find Alice sitting on the couch waiting for me.

" Hey,where's Phoebe ?" I ask.

" In her room sleeping. Shane sit down." She looks at Phoebe's door sadly.

" What's up? Did you take her to see Dr. Cullen ?" I ask.

" That why I stayed. After Phoebe's session,she called me in to give a message for you." She says

" What's the message ?" I ask,feeling my heart sink.

" Phoebe is still severely traumatized. She is worried that if Phoebe doesn't start talking soon,she might never again. She says

" Oh shit."

" Ther'es more.Dr. Cullen suspects that Phoebe was abused by her stepfather." She says

What,Phoebe told her this ?" I say

" It what she didn't say." Alice says. Oh my god..

" I have to go.Tasha's lawyer wants to talk to me." She says,giving me a hug

" What am I going to do ? I want to help her,but she won't speak to me.. Oh god,you don't think she'll try to kill herself do you ?" I ask

" I honestly,don't know." She says

" So,what do I do now ?" I ask

" Try talking to her. She seems to respond better to you. "

"Thanks Alice."

'' Anytime." Alice grabs her keys and heads out the door.

* * *

I knock on Phoebe door and slowly open it.She is lying on her bed,sleeping. 

I shake her gently.

" Phoebe sweetie wake up."

She opens her eyes and sits up.

" Hey,I'm sorry to wake you but I just want to tell you something. I willl never hurt you. Ever. Neither will Alice,Bette,Tina,Jodi,Max,Kit,or any of my friends.Nobody will ever touch you again. You don't have to be afraid of anything. All my life people have hurt me,and I've gladly returned the favor.But I swear to you, I will kill anyone who hurts you. All I wanna do is help you end your pain.I wanna take it away from you..Because I have never loved anyone the way I love you. So I'm gonna save you. I know you can talk ,I know you have so much to give,some much to share. And when your ready to give it,I'll be waiting." I finish,and she looks at me this time,her eyes not so empty.

* * *

LATER 

The sun is setting over the horizon. I feel someone behind me, It's Phoebe. I don't really know what came over me.I just reached over and held her in my arms.She looked up,and started to cry.

" Shh, it's okay baby.It's okay,I'm right here.I'm not going anyhwere.' I stroke her hair and she just cries. I just hold her tight,afraid to let go. She suddenly stops crying and wipes her eyes and looks at me.

" I think I'm ready to talk now." She says. I wipe the tears from her cheeks with my thumb.

" Okay. I'm listening."


	4. Chapter 4

Shane's POV

" It's crazy,I mean. One second she's so lost and the next she's just, well human." I say sipping my coffee. It's been a week since Phoebe started talking. Some sentences, little pharses, but talking.

" That's really good Shane. It means she starting to heal." Bette says

" Did you register Phoebe for school yet?" Alice asks

" Yeah. I try to talk to her about it, but she kinda dancing around the subject." I say

" Well, it be weird if she wasn't. I mean she's starting a new school, left her girlfriend back home and she's an orphan. Not exactly normal type of first-day jitters." Jenny says

" Hey, I have an idea. Why don't I take her shopping?" Jenny says

I hear Tina silently groan.

" I don't know if she'll agree to it. But if you wanna give it a shot. Hey here she comes" I see Phoebe out of the corner of my eye.

She spots us and come and sits down.

" Hey Phoebe, how are you?" I say

" Um,better thanks. "

" So, Phoebe are you excited about school starting on Monday?" Bette says

Phoebe just slips further down her sit.

" Not really."

All of the sudden Jenny elbows me in the stomach. I glare at her.

" Oh, um Jenny has something she would like to ask you." I say

She sits up a little

" Well, I was just wondering if you would like to come shopping with me. We could pick out some clothers for school for you" Jenny looks at Phoebe hopefully. Phoebe looks from me to Jenny, Jenny to me, and sighs

" Um sure,I guess. Why not?" She says

Oh, you have no idea what you are getting into.

* * *

" Ok, you are in desperate need of Chanel. And we will probably need to the Mac Counter as well." She says slipping her aviators to the back of her head.

" Um, I mean, are you sure I really need all of this. I though you, maybe some jeans and a couple of tops?" I ask

I am still getting use to living with a bunch of lesbians, like me. And then talking to others. I guess therapy's been going ok. Bu the dreams about my stepfather aren't going away. I know I should tell Shane but, I dunno I can't

" Honey, you must remember that this Los Angeles. Lezzies must keep up appearances, of all ages. Oh don't worry, Shane told us. Besides you don't exactly scream," I fuck men.", sugar."

" Uh, thanks." I think

Before I knew it, I had, three chanel dresses, five pairs of dior jeans,and six peasant blouses. I guess I 'll just have to open up to being a lipstick lesbian. Which, I was back home. Oh god, how is Amy. I miss her like crazy. I wonder if she's found someone else.

Someone better than me

" Here let me help you with that." A voice behind me says. I turn around to see... an angel.

She was little taller than me with long wavy red hair and green eyes. She was black jeans and a blck halter top. She just looked so beautiful.

Ok,talk Phoebe,open your mouth.

" Um, sure, thanks." She takes the moutains out of my hands,her hands briefly touching mine. God she was soft.

" You're new around here, aren't you." She says

" Yeah, I just moved here."

" Do you go to Briarwood Free Academy?"

" Yeah. I do." Ok say more then three word sentences,Phoebe.

" Oh shit, I am shut an idiot. I'm Rebecca Sutton. But I much prefer Bex."

" I'm Phoebe. Phoebe Park." I shook her hand

Suddenly Jenny comes right up beside me.

" Hey, you ready, I wanna head over to Gucci. And who is this ?" Jenny says,eyeing Bex.

" This is Bex. She goes to my new school. Um Bex, this is Jenny, a friend of my guardian, Shane."

" Nice to meet you." Jenny says. Oh please don't hit on her.

" Bex,Sutton,where are you? You're need inthe shoe department!" Someone calls

" Oh , I gotta go.. Well, Phoebe Park, if you need a ride in thr morning. Give me a call." She takes my hand and writes her number on it. She walks away. Wow, she is hott. I see Jenny looking at me

" Well, you make new friends fast. She was cute. Very cute. And was feeling you."

' Really, you think so."

" I know so. Come on,let's go lattes." She loops her arm through mine

I think I'm gonna like it here.


End file.
